Gay men’s tales of monogamy and non-monogamy: change, convenience and worries

Gay men’s tales of monogamy and non-monogamy: change, convenience and worries

And some homosexual guy idealise monogamy, specifically in the early phases of a connection, twosomes often grow to be non-monogamous through the years, Australian specialists state in a piece of writing posted online before printing in customs, health insurance and Sexuality.

Boys frequently determine non-monogamy as sensible in gay affairs, as a result of personal and social norms in gay neighborhoods. But repositioning the soil regulations of relationships can be stressful for certain partners, specially when the business partners had various standards about monogamy and non-monogamy.

Due to this qualitative analysis, Steven Philpot and co-worker conducted in-depth interviews with 61 Australian gay guys. The interviews researched troubles of intimacy, interactions and monogamy with people have been either unmarried or even in a number of during the interview.



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Qualitative studies are accustomed enjoy and realize people’s objectives, experiences, perceptions or behaviors. It requests questions regarding just how and just why. Qualitative analysis might by asking questions about the reasons why consumers battle to utilize HIV avoidance strategies. It mightn’t ask exactly how many anyone employ them or gather information as rates. Qualitative data methods contain interviews, concentration groups and associate viewing.

HIV is sometimes transmitted within dedicated connections, hence a perception of partnership dynamics is vital for HIV protection.


Lots of men, specially more youthful people, implicitly anticipated monogamy as the cornerstone for lasting associations. These people seen it developed reliability, protection, intimacy and depend upon. It has been read presenting a very ethical way of life than non-monogamy and promiscuity.

“We never discussed becoming fully special: it actually was merely a provided that individuals would simply witness one another.” (sole, 21 ages).

“Even though I’m gay I continue to trust in the whole steady family thing. Extremely, I do need a husband and teens.” (paired, 22 a very long time).

None the less, people decided not to always feel that monogamy would concluding. It can be viewed as foremost at the outset of a connection:

“I presume it’s vital that you have actually monogamy for around the best three years of your own relationship given that it produces mental contacts and a religious association. Also because in the first three-years of the union, that’s many new while dont wanna rip that aside with that filter put on the relationship.” (one, 29 a long time).

Lots of men predicted commitments to change to non-monogamy in time. Though some people listed this by writing about the ready option of gender to the gay field, other people offered natural information:

“During The Time You’ve had gotten two hormonally pushed people they generally only need a power outlet if he or she dont desire to self-destruct.” (solitary, 24 age).

The equivalent man in addition said that societal connection with different gay people experienced led your to expect a non-monogamous commitment, in the event the guy struggled with this expectation.

“Most people in connections I recognize having went on become available therefore while I dont as if it, i know if Needs a lasting partnership, there’s a good chance that is the answer to accomplishment.”

In comparison, other people aspired to non-monogamy. Some may idealise seasoned twosomes whose relations were safe, profitable and open:

“They’re significantly crazy and they’ve had gotten property with each other. And they’re in a completely open connection… That’s a thing i would really like nicely. It’d staying good to access that time with time wherein insecurities went and you don’t stress about who’s asleep with who, if you adore a person you’re moving property to… If [partner] but perform keep collectively long-lasting, which is just where I discover our relationship moving.” (Coupled, 28 several years).


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